Category Archives: Humor (attempted)

Poor Linda…

Linda Ronstadt’s latest song…. “Somewhere in there, where my fingers reach… I’m thinking of me, and loving me tonight” (MASCULINE VOICE): Somewhere… “Shut up, Aaron, I don’t need you anymore!”

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My Poker Book

Another guy named “Barry Carter” wrote a book telling people how to win at poker. Big deal! Anyone can do that. Here’s my book (aka blog entry) on how to lose at poker. The objective of poker is to lose … Continue reading

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Too dumb to scam?

Scammers target dumb people because they’re easier to scam. But what if they’re so dumb they can’t even follow simple instructions? Here’s a multi-day google talk chat I had with a scammer who answered my chat request, mrdavewilliams9@gmail.com (contains strong … Continue reading

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Oscar Mayer: full of baloney?

Oscar Mayer’s website has this nutritional information for UPC code 4470003252 (at http://www.kraftrecipes.com/Products/ProductInfoDisplay.aspx?&Product=4470003252&pf=true): However, the product in my freezer has different information (note the serving size is different, among other things): I’ve pinged Oscar Mayer about this, but I think … Continue reading

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New Year’s Resolution

Every year, I make a New Year’s Resolution not to make a New Year’s Resolution. Then, I break that resolution on December 31st by making a resolution not to make a resolution next year.

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Words I Would Like Added to the Dictionary

If a jihad is a holy war, a jighad is a holy dance war. Antiovercompoundizationerism: Movement opposed to excessively combining existing words to form new words.

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Why I Don’t Write Children’s Books

Page 1: See Bob. Hi, Bob. Page 2: See Dick. Hi, Dick. Page 3: See Jane. Hi, Jane. Page 4: See Bob, dick’n Jane. Whoa! My second try didn’t work either: Page 1: See Jane. Hi, Jane. Page 2: See … Continue reading

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International Profanic Alphabet (in progress)

ASSHOLE BUTTMUNCH CUNT DICKWAD E? FUCK GODDAMMIT H? I? JERKOFF K? L? MOTHERFUCKER N? O? PUDWHACKER QUEERBAIT R? SHITHEAD TURLINGDROME U? VAGINA WHIPPED X? Y? Z?

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We are stupid stars

Even though it’s an obvious joke of Ke$ha’s song, googling “we are stupid stars” (in quotes) yields only 5 results, wow! http://www.google.com/search?q=%22we%20are%20stupid%20stars%22&btnG=Google+Search

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essentialdepot.com: a fun place to work (parody)

essentialdepot.com is a great company, but I sometimes wonder about the pictures on their site. Above is my humorous edit of the top picture from this collage: http://www.essentialdepot.com/images/ohiocollage.jpg found on this page: http://www.essentialdepot.com/servlet/the-120/Ohio-Soapers-9th-April/Detail

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