http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page rejected my article on Albuquerque, so I’m posting it here (now you know the secret: the good stuff never makes it to my blog!):
Facts about Albuquerque:
- Albuquerque is New Mexico’s largest city, with approximately
17,000 citizens, and just over 5,000,000 illegal immigrants.
- Albuquerque enjoys a warm, tropical climate, but doesn’t actually
- The west side of Albuquerque is a true desert, receiving less than
7 inches of rain annually. The east side receives just over 300 inches
annually, all on July 17th.
- A controversial law signed by Mayor Go-Go Gomez requires
Albuquerque police to stop people for proof of legal residence. Those
who don’t have proof are given some.
- Albuquerque residents have easy access to adjacent Native American
reservations, where gambling and prostitution are legal, as are peyote
use, slavery, rape, and murder.
- Albuquerque was founded by the Spanish explorer Cornholio, who was
searching for Cibola (literally, “Native American cunt”).
- Albuquerque has been home to many famous entrepreneurs, none of
whom achieved success until they left Albuquerque.
- Although most residents live in a 10 square mile area, the actual
city limits cover just over 200 billion square miles.
- Albuquerque’s official bird is Dame Judi Dench.