Square One TV: more lyrics

[This entire page is an archived copy of http://www.math.uiuc.edu/~jbenda2/sq1songs.html (with minor formatting and other cleanups) which no longer exists. UPDATE: Actually, this page still exists at: http://jebhp11.26376.org/sq1songs.html. Thanks to page owner Jason Benda for allowing me to use the contents below.]

This page lists the lyrics for twenty of the songs which appeared
on Square One Television from 1987 through 1992. I compiled
these lyrics by listening to the songs in question repeatedly and
writing down what I heard, so there may be some slight inaccuracies or
gaps due to my own listening abilities.

For more information about Square One, visit the information
and fan site at SquareOneTV.org.


The songs are listed alphabetically by title (or by what I think
of the title as, which in at least one case is not the technically
correct title), and each song is formatted to show who the performers
were.


Angle Dance

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar

Featured vocals by Reg E. Cathey

The following song includes graphic descriptions of obtuse and acute angles.
Viewers who might be offended by this subject matter should not view this program.

I know all the angles
Angle Dancing’s the latest fad
Make two lines meet, add a throbbing beat
The results’ll drive you mad

If you learn all the angles
You can dance to my angle song
To start bend your knees forty-five degrees
Everybody crawl along

Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Find the point where two lines merge
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Come, let’s make our paths converge

Once you know all the angles
A two-person square’s a breeze
It’s quite cut-and-dried; stretch one arm to the side
Raise the other one ninety degrees

Next hang a friend from the ceiling
If he loves you I know he won’t care
Grasp his hands real tight, get those angles right
There you’ve done it; you’ve made a square

Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Help me measure these angles please
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
We’re all doing it by degrees
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Make a circular turn on your toe
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
In degrees spin three six zero

If you try you can make any angle
If you don’t there’s no excuse
This little beaut is called acute
And this wide one is obtuse

Now I’ve taught you the angles
You’re Angle Dancing hip
And if you’re inclined, you can go out and find
A spatial relationship

Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Come and join me, hun
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Have some geometric fun
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Let’s hope our math’s correct
Angle Dance, Angle Dance
Gee it’s great when lines connect

(Fade out, repeating last refrain)


Archimedes

Lead vocals by Beverly Mickins

Archimedes
Archimedes

A mathematician and scientist
Born in two eight seven B.C.
He lived in the city of Syracuse
On the island of Sicily

He said he could move the world
If he only had a place to stand
A fulcrum and a lever long
And the strength of an average man

He solved the problems of his days
Using math in amazing ways
His great work lives on today
Archimedes
Archimedes

The Archimedean principle tells
Why things float up or sink down
He found it when he needed to prove
The value of the king’s gold crown

His pulley system lifted weights
When the heavy loads got rough
His invention saved the day
There wasn’t any job too tough

He solved the problems of his days
Using math in amazing ways
His great work lives on today
Archimedes
Archimedes

He watched the stars and planets move
He built a planetarium
To illustrate the universe:
The earth, the moon, and shining sun

With circles and with cylinders
He was busy calculating pi
This really was remarkable
For a man who lived in early times

He solved the problems of his days
Using math in amazing ways
His great work lives on today

Archimedes yay, yay,
Archimedes how, ooh,
Archimedes
Archimedes Archimedes, ow,
Archimedes yeah, yeah, yeah,
Archimedes hmm-mm
Archimedes ooh

(Fade out)


Count On It

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar

Sooner or later, you’re gonna see some math
You can count on it
Sooner or later, those numbers cross your path
You can count on it

You may be hoping it will go away
But let me tell you, math is here to stay
You can count on it, hoo, yeah
You can count on it

Everywhere you look, they’re measuring the action
You can count on it
Everywhere you look, they’re even using fractions
You can count on it

They’re keeping time, and they’re keeping the score
They draw the line, and they’re running the store
You can count on it, hoo
Yeah, you can count on it

Look at the dial; look at how far
Look at how much; look where we are
Look at the gauge; look at the graph
Check out the numbers; you’ve got the last laugh

‘Cause it ain’t mystery; there’s nothing tough about it
You can count on it, that’s right
Soon you’re gonna see that you couldn’t live without it
You can count on it, hoo

Don’t take a genius or a great magician
To make a pretty good mathematician
You can count on it, hoo, yeah
Yeah, you can count on it, whoo
Oh, you can count on it, whoo
Baby, you can count on it

(fade out over Larry singing skat)


Draw A Map

Oh, whoa-oo-oh

I’m coming back to town; I’d like to see you
I know it’s been a long, long time
I don’t know how to get there, since you moved
But I have directions from a friend of mine:
It’s five miles right, then five miles left
Then a mile down the road
I come past a tree, and wait for a light
How I’ll remember this, I don’t know!

He said, I’ll draw a map so you’ll find me
I’ll put it in scale and you’ll find me
I’ll just make an inch stand for a mile
I can make an inch stand for a mile

So he drew a map, a small but good one
Marking in an inch for every mile
He put in all the trees, and lights and landmarks
And I knew it would lead me to him after a while
So a mile down the road was an inch on my map
He brought it down to scale
The map is the same as the route to his house
Just smaller … in every detail

He said, I’ll draw a map so you’ll find me
I’ll put in a scale and you’ll find me
I’ll just make an inch stand for a mile
I can make an inch stand for a mile

He said, I’ll draw a map so you’ll find me
I’ll put it in scale and you’ll find me
I’ll just make an inch stand for a mile
I can make an inch stand for a mile


8% Of My Love

Lead vocals by Cris Franco

Featured vocals by Luisa Leschin and Arthur Howard

Girl, I already told you I love you
I already loaned you my ring
So how come just when everything was going so good
You got to bring up this “commitment” thing?

You said you ain’t getting a hundred percent of my love
And I admit it’s true
But long before today, I gave most of it away
So there’s hardly any left for you

I’m saving four percent for a dear dear friend
Who’s lying sick in bed
And eight percent for a pal of mine
Who fell and hit her head

Six percent for my Springsteen tapes
Eight percent for my car
Twelve for the good old U.S.A.
And five percent for my guitar

But I can give you eight percent of my love
Eight percent of my love
Eight hundredths of the time
You’re the only girl I’m dreaming of, yeah yeah yeah
Eight percent of my heart
Eight percent of my soul
Just point-oh-eight, but girl, you’re great
You’re the only one that makes me whole

But when you add it up, that only comes to forty-three (forty-three)
That should leave fifty-seven all for me (all for me)
Sorry hun; that’s not the situation
I’ve just begun; don’t spoil my concentration

(screams)

Now there’s nine percent for Miss Snodgrass
Who tutored me in science
And add another ten percent
For the New York Football Giants

Four percent for my mom and dad
Eight percent for my bike
Eighteen for my leather jacket, baby
If you don’t like it you can take a hike

‘Cause you still got eight percent of my love
Eight percent of my love
Eight hundredths of the time
You’re the only girl I’m dreaming of, yeah-eah-eah yeah
Eight percent of my love
Eight percent’ll have to do
I already went and spent ninety-two percent
But I’m saving all the rest for you
I already went and spent ninety-two percent
But I’m saving all the rest for you


Fraction Rap

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar and Reg E. Cathey

Introductory voice-over by Beverly Mickins

You know what a fraction is, don’t you?
It’s the quotient of two whole numbers.

Knowing that, watch this:

Hey, Reg! Hey, Lar! How you doin’, man?
I been thinkin’ all day; I got this plan
You mean about the problem we talked about
Take it easy, pal; you don’t have to shout
Oh boy boy oh boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy. Hmm.

Sorry, man, but that’s great, you see
‘Cause there’s only one thing that bothered me
About doing my m-math assignment last night
It blew my mind and it don’t seem right, and it’s

Fractions! What?
F-f-f-f-fractions! Oh yeah, yeah, I got it
F-f-f-f-f-f-fractions! Yeah
F-f-f-f-f-f-…. (Larry continues)
All right, Larry I got it. Larry. Yo man, yo, you’re illin’ when you should be chillin’. Larry. Larry!
(Larry finishes) … unh.

Hey Lar, hey dude, you got to hang tough
‘Cause this a-fractions stuff can get really rough
But like I told you, dude, I’m gonna help you out
You got no good reason to sweat and pout
‘Cause I’m the King of Cool and I’m a whiz at school and I look good!
Hunh?
Somebody bring me a mirror. Yeah.
Now wait.

You are the wiz, but this stuff’s a mystery
I can’t figure out what the result is gonna be
If I take two and divide by three
What sort of fraction am I gonna see?

No sweat, my man; a-listen to my words
Two divided by three equals two-thirds
And it looks like this, as you can plainly see:
You put the two up here, and down here the three

It works any time you must divide
A fraction answer you can provide
Take one whole number, divide by another
Put the first one on top of the other
Draw a line between the two
Nothing else that you have to do

Yeah! Somebody bring me a mirror.
Now wait.

Hey Reg. Hey, Lar. This cannot be
I worked all night; I was up ’til three
Now you did it once, but can you do it again
Let’s try some more; I’ll tell you when

The problem here I will provide
You write the fraction here beside
And if you’ve got the stuff to prove this rule
Then I must admit you are the King of Cool. Yeah.
And I will bring you a mirror. I know.
Get ready!

Five divided by six equals … … five-sixths!
Three divided by nine equals … … three-ninths!
Eight divided by five equals … … eight-fifths!

Put the first whole number on top of the other
Draw a line and you will discover a
Fraction! Yeah.
F-f-f-f-fraction! I think you have it, Lar!
I really want to tell you it’s a fraction! By George, he’s got it!
F-f-f-f-f-f-…. Wait!
Where’s my mirror? Oh, yeah, I forgot.
I know you Right herer! All right.

Larry, that is not a mirror! I can only see a fraction of myself!
Oh yeah, but that part of you looks real good, Reg.
Oh, does it?
Oh yeah.
Oh, I thought you’d never notice.
No, I think about an eighth of you looks good.
You’re a wise man … a WHAT?
Yeah, or maybe a sixteenth.
A sixteenth? Larry, you’re losing your wisdom!
Oh, all right. A half …
A half? That’s better.
… of a half of a half! (laughs)


Ghost Of A Chance

Lead vocals by Cris Franco and Reg E. Cathey

One night on a Pizza Shack delivery
I walked into this spooky house
And just as I was yelling “Two with anchovies!”
The door slammed and the lights went out

Started shouting, “Someone owes me fourteen ten!”
And then I heard a creepy voice
Boy, you’ll never see the Pizza Shack again
Unless you make the proper choice

Probability
Don’t you mess with me
Help me make the most of a chance
Might be win or lose
Still I’ve got to choose
Long as there’s a ghost of a chance

There are four dusty bookcases right over there
One of them’s a secret door
Go ahead and try one of them, if you dare
Your chance is only one in four

Did a little eenie, meenie, miney, moe
Pulled the third with all my might
Probability of one-fourth is low
But lucky thing I got it right

Probability
Don’t you mess with me
Help me make the most of a chance
Might be win or lose
Still I’ve got to choose
Long as there’s a ghost of a chance

Walked in to a hallway full of rattlesnakes
Only five are real ones; forty-five are fakes
Chance is five in fifty that I’m gonna croak
Chances are you thought this was a lark, a joke!

Probability
Don’t you mess with me
Help me make the most of a chance
Might be win or lose
Still I’ve got to choose
Long as there’s a ghost of a chance

Found myself inside an old Egyptian tomb
Open up the mummy case
Behold the seven keys he clutches in the gloom
Three will let you blow this place

Three in seven chance to pick a key that fits
I picked one of the four that don’t
But now the probability becomes three-sixths;
Three will work and three still won’t

(laughs)

Son, you’ve earned your freedom; here are twelve ways out
Eleven lead you to your truck
But what about the one in twelve? My boy, don’t pout;
Good luck; here’s your fourteen bucks

Probability of one-twelfth is slim
The guy was finally being nice
But that’s the one he chose, and I’m so pleased for him
The pizza’s for my poltergeist

Probability
Don’t you mess with me
Help me make the most of a chance
Might be win or lose
Still I’ve got to choose
Long as there’s a ghost of a chance

Probability
Don’t you mess with me
Help me make the most of a chance
Might be win or lose
Still I’ve got to choose
Long as there’s a ghost of a chance

(fade out)


Jenny Didn’t Call

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar

Backup vocals by The Women (Cynthia Darlow, Luisa Leschin, and Beverly Mickins)

Featured vocals by Reg E. Cathey, Cris Franco, and Arthur Howard

Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

Jenny called me on a Monday, and that was great
We stayed up talking ’til very late
I called her Tuesday to make our plans
For next month’s Sophomore Springtime Dance
Jenny called me Wednesday; she was at the mall
But I was on my way out to play basketball

Man, you can’t play basketball.
I scored three home runs!
Three home runs?

I called Jenny Thursday Ooh-ooh
I called Jenny Friday Ooh-ooh

Saturday, the telephone rang
And my mom said, “Jimmy! It’s Jenny again!”
I called her on Sunday to see what to take
On our picnic later down at Cool Man’s Lake
Jenny called me Monday; we had a super talk
Then I went over to her house; we took her dog for a walk

Wait a minute, Jimmy; Jenny doesn’t have a dog.
No, but she’s got a leash!
(both laugh)

I called Jenny Tuesday Ooh-ooh
I called Jenny Wednesday Ooh-ooh

She called me Thursday; we talked for a year
And my dad said, “James, is that phone glued to your ear?”
Today is Friday; I thought the phone would ring
I thought Jenny would call me ’bout that Math Club thing
But she … she hasn’t called me, and I’m a little upset
Well it’s … it’s only eight, and, well the day’s not over yet! Yeah!

Stop! Do you see a pattern here!
Try to find a pattern here!
Look for a pattern, Jim!

So it’s your turn to call her according to the pattern!
Just looked at the pattern and I called her then:

Hello? Jenny!
Oh, baby, I was waiting for you to call. I guess it was my turn to call, huh?
I didn’t know about that pattern, you know? (jabbering in background)
So what’s happening, baby? You want to come over sometime? We’ll do some division or something?
[Come on, guys; I’m talking to my girlfriend!]
Oh, baby, I love you! Hey, listen; what do you want to do tonight? Square roots? Oh, I love you!
[Hey, come on, stop it!]


Less Than Zero

Lead vocals by Beverly Mickins

Featured vocals by Arthur Howard

At the big diving meet at our school
A diver named Stanley O’Toole
Did a horrid backflip that the judges scored zip
The worst ever seen at our pool

Well, the spectators let out a roar
But Stanley had more thrills in store
His next dive was poorer, and caused such a furor
They gave him a negative score

He got less than zero, less than zero
The scoreboard’s running in reverse
Less than zero; he’s an anti-hero
Watch me go from bad to worse!

At a dance contest down by the shore
Stan tripped and fell on the floor
The judge cried, “Pee-ew! You get negative two.”
Said Stan with a grin, “Less is more!”

He got less than zero, less than zero
He’s a negative, negative guy
Less than zero; he’s an anti-hero
Worse than nothing is my battle cry!

When he skated towards the roses at the roller rink
The judges held a note that said that, “Stan, you stink.
You’re so bad we’ve got to give you a sub-zero score.”
It added up to negative twenty-four

Stan entered a hammer throw meet
Set a record that no one will beat
He threw it behind him; the score they assigned him
Was negative fifty-five feet

He got less than zero, less than zero
No ifs and no ands and no buts
Less than zero; he’s an anti-hero
I’m a certified nationwide klutz! Yeah
I’m a certified nationwide klutz! Yeah!


The Mathematics Of Love

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar

Backup vocals by Reg E. Cathey, Cris Franco, Luisa Leschin, and Beverly Mickins

Featured vocals by Arthur Howard

A five, six, seven, eight!

One night one night the stars were glowing
Two hearts two hearts were overflowing
Three words hit like a bolt from above
Bum bum bum
Four arms four arms were hugging tightly
Five times five times I kissed you lightly
So goes the mathematics of love
The mathematics of love

One two three forever
I’ll keep on counting the ways
One thousand nights I’ll hold you
And love you all of my days (and love you all of my days)

One night one night the moon was shining
Two hearts two hearts were intertwining
So goes the mathematics of love
The mathematics of love

Seven eight nine tenderly
I’ll hold the memory of
The one night two hearts thundered
The mathematics of love
Great, Tony! You got it!
One two three forever
The mathematics of love
One more time!

The mathematics of love

Alright! Take five!


Neighborhood Super Spy

Lead vocals by Cynthia Darlow

Backup vocals by The Men (Reg E. Cathey, Larry Cedar, Cris Franco, and Arthur Howard)

I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am an undercover kind of guy (undercover kind of guy)
I
should be working for the F.B.I. (F.B.I.)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)

I can send a secret message that you can’t figure out
If you don’t have my secret code, you won’t know what I’m talking about
It looks like only numbers, but it’s a super secret plan
If you don’t know my personal code, you’ll never understand

Write out the alphabet, A to Z
And underneath that you write one-two-three
Instead of writing S-P-Y
Write nineteen-sixteen-twenty-five
Then when your friend sees the nineteen, yes
She’ll check the code and translate S
The sixteen is P, the twenty-five is Y
The secret word is S-P-Y

I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am an undercover kind of guy (undercover kind of guy)
I
should be working for the F.B.I. (F.B.I.)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)

You don’t have to start with the number one
I only want to show you how it’s done
As a matter of fact, if one is A
Everyone knows it; it’s no fun to play
So, for example, you could make the A a ten
When you get to the R, you start with one again
Then “spy” would start with two, that’s great
P is twenty-five and Y is eight

I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am an undercover kind of guy (undercover kind of guy)
I
should be working for the F.B.I. (F.B.I.)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)

Choose a number for the A, any one of many picks
Keep adding one ’til you get to twenty-six
Start again with one and stop when you see
The last of the alphabet, the letter Z
All you need to know is the number for the A
You’re ready to send a message away
You can send secret messages to and fro
Just like a real spy, just like a real pro

I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am an undercover kind of guy (undercover kind of guy)
I
should be working for the F.B.I. (F.B.I.)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)

I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
I
am the Neighborhood Super Spy (super spy)
(fade out)


Nine Nine Nine

Lead vocals by Reg E. Cathey

Backup vocals by Cynthia Darlow

Nine nine nine
Fantastic number nine
It’s perfectly consistent
It works out every time
Nine nine nine
That crazy number nine
Times any number you can find
It all comes back to nine

Two times nine is eighteen
Eight and one is nine
Three times nine is twenty-seven
Seven and two is nine
Four times nine is thirty-six
Six and three is nine
Five times nine is forty-five
Five and four is nine

Six times nine is fifty-four
Five and four is nine
Seven times nine is sixty-three
Six and three is nine
Eight times nine is seventy-two
Seven and two is nine
Nine times nine is eighty-one
Eight and one is nine

Nine nine nine
Fantastic number nine
It’s perfectly consistent
It works out every time
Nine nine nine
That crazy number nine
Times any number you can find
It all comes back to nine

Nine times ten is ninety
Just drop the zero sign
Nine times eleven is ninety-nine
Makes me rhyme with another line
Then nine and nine is eighteen
And eight and one is nine
Times any number you can find
It all comes back to nine

This work for bigger numbers, too?
Yup.
Let’s try this’un: three thousand four hundred’n eighty seven
Hmm … nine times three thousand four hundred eighty seven is
Thirty-one thousand three hundred eighty-three
Three plus one plus three plus eight plus three is eighteen;
One plus eight is nine.
It always works!

Nine nine nine
Fantastic number nine
It’s perfectly consistent
And it works out every time
Nine nine nine
That crazy number nine
Times any number you can find
It all comes back to nine
It all comes back to nine
It all comes back to nine


Percents

Lead vocals by Cris Franco and Beverly Mickins

Harmony vocals by The Men (Larry Cedar and Arthur Howard) (for Cris Franco)

Harmony vocals by The Women (Cynthia Darlow and Luisa Leschin) (for Beverly Mickins)

Featured vocals by Reg E. Cathey

There’s a percentage of people
Who know a lot about percents
The rest of the people are simply confused
They don’t understand the way percents are used
Like when you want to go shopping
‘Cause there’s a big sale going on
With thirty percent off the normal price
To figure the cost you’ve gotta think twice

The number of parts of one hundred
Is what a percent is
Let’s take two:
Can be said as a fraction, two-one-hundredths
Or a decimal, point-zero-two; that’s true

Once you start to notice
You’re going to see examples of percents
When you put your money in a savings account
It earns a percent of the total amount
Or when you’re planning a schedule
It helps to think about percents
For twenty-four hours in every day
What percent do you usually work or play?

The number of parts of one hundred
Is what a percent is
Let’s take six:
Can be said as a fraction, six-one-hundredths
Or a decimal, point-zero-six; that’s no trick

To think about percents, you’ve got to give your all
Your own one hundred percent
If you just give a half, a half’s fifty percent
It’s never going to make sense

The number of parts of one hundred
Is what a percent is
Let’s take twelve:
Can be said as a fraction, twelve-one-hundredths
Or a decimal, point-one-two; Good for you!

There’s a percentage of people
Who know a lot about percents
We hope by now you’re not confused
You know about percents and how they’re used

Now you’re one of those people (one of those people)
Who know a lot about percents (know a lot about percents)
Now you’re one of those people (oh, yeah)
Who know a lot about percents (know about percents, yeah)
Now you’re one of those people (yeah, yeah)
Who know a lot about percents (fade out)


Perfect Squares

Lead vocals by Arthur Howard and Beverly Mickins

Featured vocals by Reg E. Cathey, Cynthia Darlow, and Cris Franco

Aieie!

Well, I’m no square; you can tell by the way I move
The cut of my hair
But these squares are cool; they’re nobody’s fool
People call ’em the Perfect Squares
Square numbers, whoo!

You take any whole number, multiply it by itself
Find the product, if you dare; you’ll see it’s a perfect square
Square numbers

One! One times one.
Four! Two times two.
Nine! Three times three.

(screams)

That’s an uncomfortable position.
Help me up.
Thank you.

Perfect squares are hipper than hip
They’re the numbers of the hour
All you got to do is take a whole number
Raise it to the second power

Sixteen! Four squared!
Thirty-six! Six squared!
Fourteen! Two times seven!

Wait a minute, man; wait a minute.
What’s wrong, brother?
Fourteen is not a square number.
Oh, brother, brother, I know it is; I know two times seven equals fourteen.
Yeah, two times seven; not two times two; not seven times seven. That’s fourteen, and not a square number, man.
Aww, but I want it to be a square number.

Now you’re a square number, you see?
That’s one forty-four, twelve times twelve. Square number!
Thank you, man.
Don’t mention it man; just walk tall and be proud!

You’re a square number.

These squares are stars; they’re going to go far
They can do an amazing thing
Arrange the stars in equal rows; you can make a square
Look in the air!

Four! Two squared!
Nine! Three squared!
Sixteen! Four squared!

Now I’m no dope; you can tell I’ve got the steps
I got the flair
But my funky stand will never hold a candle
To my friends, the Perfect Squares

Twenty-five! Five times five!
One hundred! Ten times ten!
Ten thousand! One hundred times one hundred!
Sixty-four! Eight squared!
Thirty-six! Six squared!

Waaaaaaaah! I did it again.

I don’t think I can move.
Help.
Help.
I think I ripped my pants.

This is a very awkward position.
Hey, don’t split!

Oh, wait, I’m moving. I’m moving. Yeah!


Perpendicular Lines

Lead vocals by Cynthia Darlow

Two right angles, back to back
One hundred eighty degrees cut in half
In the country or in town
You can find them all around

Window frames and your front door
The living room wall to the living room floor
The tall building at the end of the block
But The Leaning Tower Of Pisa is not

You better listen to the word on the street
When two lines meet and make a capital T
It’s easy to see those
Perpendicular Lines

Without these lines, what would we have?
We wouldn’t have poles to raise our flags
Without goalposts, football’s a drag
We’d only have stripes, never plaid

Books on a bookshelf, tic-tac-toe
The crossbeams of a telephone pole
A chain-link fence with its design
Corners, floor tiles, and street signs

On hopscotch boards those lines are there
At each corner of the squares
Mortar lines of a brick wall
That disappear if the wall falls

You better listen to the word on the street
When two lines meet and make a capital T
It’s easy to see those
Perpendicular Lines
Perpendicular Lines
Perpendicular Lines


Rapping Judge

Lead vocals by Reg E. Cathey

Featured vocals by Cris Franco, Cynthia Darlow, and Beverly Mickins

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, look alive
Order in the Federal Cout Of Jive
Here’s the cat’s gonna settle your grudge
Evevrybody rise for the rapping …
…Rapping Judge!

I don’t dig lying, and I don’t dig bunk
And I don’t dig none of this counterfeit junk
So tell it to me staright, and better make it rhyme
Tell me who’s the plaintiff and what’s the crime

I’m sure, Your Honor, the court will find
That this young lady has robbed me blind
I made a pie like I always cook it
But now it’s gone, and I know who took it

What kinda pie? Why, apple, natch
And where’d you try to keep it ‘fore the snatch?
I set it on the window sill
And if she hadn’t swiped it, it’d be there still

Now, wait a sec! Now, tut tut tut-tut
You’ll get your chance to say a-what’s what
There’s just one little matter left
About what time did you notice the theft?

The pie was stolen at two o’clock.
The pie was stolen at two o’clock.
Are you sure that that’s the true o’clock?
Yes, it had to be stolen at two o’clock.

Now now, you heard the lady’s plea
About how her pie is a-history
Now’s your chance to call the tune
Tell me, what were you doing that afternoon?

Well, I left my home at one o’clock
To ride my skateboard around the block
Did a little of this and a little of that
And I didn’t get home ’til three o’clock flat

Did anybody see you? Don’t think so. Why?
Kid, you could use an alibi
Well, my dad got home at one, you see
But nobody saw me again ’til three
From one ’til three this birdie flew
And the crust bit the dust along about two

One more question; I’ll make it brief
‘Cause math might help us finger the thief
How far is this kid’s habitat
From the place where Granny hangs her hat?

The plaintiff lives out by the bay
And the girl lives about four miles away

I say what? what? what?
Four miles? miles? miles? miles?
What? what? what?
Four miles? Give or take a bit.
Word. That’s the end of this.

This child is innocent
Of this I’m confident
She did not do the deed
The clue is the rate of speed

Someone on a skateboard has the power
To cruise at just about three miles an hour
That means sixty minutes or so
Three little old miles is all she can go

But the lady lives four miles away!
Yo, yo, homeboy, I hear what you say
A round trip of eight miles is just no way!
Yo, yo, we’re hip, and that is that
We’re glad that math is here to help us solve the theft

A child on a skateboard hasn’t the time
To steal a pie and seal the crime
So let’s all split, if you catch my drift
And if you don’t, then … Case …
Dismissed!


Shape Up

Lead vocals by Beverly Mickins

I’ll give it to you straight
We’ve got a love triangle
I saw you kissing your ex-girlfriend
Oh, you better shape up
I told you over and oval
This is the end of the line
Boy, I’m gonna be gone, pentagon
If you don’t shape up

Shape up
You’d better shape up
Shape up
Shape up, shape up

You say you’re innocent
It takes two to rectangle
I saw you holding her hand
In the back of the school rhombus
I warned you fair and square
How could you fall in her trapezoid?
Boy, I’m gonna be gone, hexagon
If you don’t shape up

Shape up
You’d better shape up
Shape up
Shape up, shape up

Well, ain’t it plain to see
From our geometry
There’s been a little change in me
You gotta shape up
Now here’s a demonstration
A visualization
You got yourself a hairy situation
Better shape up

Now everyone in our circle
Comes up and asks me why
We’ve been split and divided by
Something over and done
I tell them me and your ex
Are both wondering who’s next
We’re both gonna be gone, ocatgon
‘Til you shape up, son

Shape up
You’d better shape up
Shape up
Shape up, shape up
Shape up
You’d better shape up
Shape up
Shape up, shape up


Sign Of The Times

Lead vocals by Cris Franco

(something in Spanish)

X is the sign of the times
X es el símbolo de los tiempos

There’s a lot of times going around
A time for lunch, a time for school
But the coolest times going around
Is a multiplication tool

Take a X, we’ll show you where it fits
Not the Brand X, not the Band X
There’s no other corner quite like this
Three times two makes six

X is the sign of the times
X es el símbolo de los tiempos
When you’re going to multiply
Just use the symbol X
Es el símbolo de los tiempos

When you’re adding and your numbers are all the same
You take a shortcut: multiply
Count the number of the numbers you want to gain
That’s your multiplier

X is the sign of the times
X es el símbolo de los tiempos
When you’re going to multiply
Just use the symbol X
Es el símbolo de los tiempos

There’s a multiplication table
Everyone should know by heart
From zero times zero to nine times nine
That’s the place to start

Es el símbolo de los tiempos

We know two times two is four
Three times three is nine
But you can do a whole lot more
With X, the sign of the times

Es el símbolo de los tiempos

Three times four or six times two
Equals one times twelve
Figure out the way it works
And try it for yourself

Es el símbolo de los tiempos

The same is true of four times five
Which equals two times ten
Five times six, fifteen times two
Equal each other again

Es el símbolo de los tiempos

You could keep on going
As long as you’re inclined
With different combinations
Just use the sign of the times

Es el símbolo de los tiempos
Aieie, ha ha ha!
Es el símbolo de los tiempos
(trills)
Es el símbolo de los tiempos
(something in Spanish)
Es el símbolo de los tiempos
(something in Spanish) Aieie! Aieie! Aieie!
Es el símbolo de los tiempos
(something in Spanish)
Es el símbolo de los tiempos
(fade out)


Tessellations

Lead vocals by Larry Cedar

Ooh, tessellations
Ooh, tessellations

We’re talking about tessellations
Ooh, tessellations
Geometric shape sensations
Ooh, tessellations
Who’s got time for good vibrations?
We’ve got to use our imaginations
Ooh bop-bop ooh
Tessellations

Let’s decorate my surfboard
With geometric shapes and lines
We can use a few polygons
Gonna make it look so fine
We can start by drawing a grid (bop-bop)
Use it as a guide (bop-bop)
And when we’re done we’re gonna have some fun
We’ll hit the waves and ride! ‘Cause

We’re talking about tessellations
Ooh, tessellations
Geometric shape sensations
Ooh, tessellations
Who’s got time for good vibrations?
We’ve got to use our imaginations
Ooh bop-bop ooh
Tessellations

Let’s use a grid of squares
To tessellate this plane
We’ll lay down different polygons
The shapes don’t have to be the same
We’ll line them up, edge-to-edge
So all the sides will meet
We’ll leave no gaps, no overlaps
Look at how the pattern repeats, yeah

We’re talking about tessellations
Ooh, tessellations
Geometric shape sensations
Ooh, tessellations
Who’s got time for good vibrations?
We’ve got to use our imaginations
Ooh bop-bop ooh

Come on and put a square here
And put an octagon there
And when they fit real tight
We’ll know we’re doing it right
Yeah, yeah

We’re talking about tessellations
Ooh, tessellations
Geometric shape sensations
Ooh, tessellations
Who’s got time for good vibrations?
We’ve got to use our imaginations
Ooh bop-bop ooh
Tessellations
We’re making tessellations
Tessellations
(fade out)


That’s Infinity

Lead vocals by The Entire Company

Featured vocals by Larry Cedar, Cris Franco, Arthur Howard, Cynthia Darlow, Reg E. Cathey, Beverly Mickins, and Luisa Leschin

If you’re sitting in a hot, crowded car
Soon you’ll get to the end of the ride
If you cross the widest ocaen
You’ll get to the other side
You can climb the highest mountain
Knowing there’s a top
But try counting to the highest number
You’ll never never stop

That’s infinity
You can count forever
There’ll always be one more
That’s infinity
Count from dusk ’til dawn
You’ll never reach infinity
You’ll just go on … and on … and on and on and on …

Like the intrepid explorer hacking his way through the relentless jungle
Like watching summer reruns on TV
Like my sister talking on the phone

That’s infinity
You can count forever
There’ll always be one more
That’s infinity
Count from dusk ’til dawn
You’ll never reach infinity
You’ll just go on … and on … and on and on and on …

You can walk as far as you like but you’ll never reach infinity
You can wait as long as you like, but you’ll never meet infinity
You can spend your whole life counting; you never will be done
You can always make a larger number just by adding one

What’s the largest number in the world?
Four billion three hundred thirty-three million four hundred and ninety-six thousand five hundred sixty-seven.
Are you sure?
Of course!
Add one to it.
Oh.
Four billion three hundred thirty-three million four hundred ninety-six thousand five hundred sixty-eight.
That must be the largest number in the world.
Are you sure?
Add one to it.
Four billion three hundred thirty-three million four hundred and ninety-six thousand five hundred sixty-nine?
(laughs) Wait a minute. This could go on (stops laughing) FOREVER!

That’s infinity
You can count forever
There’ll always be one more
That’s infinity
Count from dusk ’til dawn
You’ll never reach infinity
You’ll just go on … and on … and on and on and on …
And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on …
And on and on and on … and on … and on and on and on and on and on …
And on …

Five billion eight hundred eighty-eight million three hundred thirty-one thousand two hundred twenty-one?
Aaugh! Add one to it!
Aaugh!


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2 Responses to Square One TV: more lyrics

  1. Henry says:

    Nice job. But didn’t Mr. Glitch help out a bit in Neighbourhood Super Spy?

    • barrycarter says:

      Yes, sort of. Someone with the Glitch’s voice intros the song. Since I copied the lyrics from another source, I’ll leave them be and just add your note!

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